Hi Natalia. Have a seat. You did a great job this year of not just receiving kisses from the other cats but giving them as well. That's a nice improvement. Also, we really appreciated how you brought us a shrew or a mouse on a regular basis and gave us fair warning before you ate their heads off. As usual, you continue to excel at being fluffy and having exceptionally fleshy ears that are fun to scratch. You have a purr that registers on the Richter scale and that brings the organization much enjoyment.
The organization recognizes your willingness to always pitch in and help - usually in a supervising role. You never hesitate to jump on the bed when we are trying to put on fresh sheets, or roll around in the suitcase when we are trying to pack it for a weekend away. While your efforts to help do not always actually help, we appreciate your pro-active attitude.
Finally, your communications skills are superb. We are never in doubt when you want to be fed or let outside. Or inside.
Room for improvement: Try to find a less damaging way of indicating you want to go outside. Your current method of scratching at the blinds is causing punctures in the fabric.
As you know, you are the alpha female in the house and the thought leader among the other felines. So let's do a better job of covering our poo in the cat box. They already know you are the top dog, why be aggressive about it?
With great power comes great responsibility. There is no need to bully Raafje who is already insecure. We've seen you smack her on the ass just for your own amusement as she tries to walk passed you to get to the water dish.
At times we have seen you mentoring Regen, who as you know, is an incredibly slow learner. She learns a lot from you--like that it is "ok" to jump on the couch. However, we've also seen you sleeping in her bed which we are sure is not you trying to "teach" her how to sleep better. That's the one thing she excels at.
A few years ago, the vet identified you as a "lazy groomer." This caused your humans much embarrassment. It's great that you wash your face and neck regularly, but let's continue to try to get to the areas that really need it. Your humans will continue to brush you and cut out your armpit mats. We've accepted that this is an area where you will always need help, but let's continue to maintain a growth mindset and see what else you might be able to cover on your own.
KPI: Let's start with the paws. They were snowy white when you joined the organization. Often now they are black or strangely , sometimes, green. Let's benchmark at white and see in the coming year how often we can maintain that standard.
Hi Raafje, come on in. Please sit down. Right, you've spent 10 minutes kneading that spot. It's ok to sit down in it now. Raafje....sit...down. Here, let me push on your butt for you to get it on the seat. There....you're welcome.
Well, Raafie, we've seen a lot of consistency with you year over year and that's a good thing. Your strength in the organization is your ability to steal socks, and only socks. We still don't know how you know the difference between socks and, say, a pair of underwear, but the organization appreciates immensely that you bring us dirty socks out of the laundry basket and present them to us in the living room for us to enjoy. Your sock-stealing is a valued surrogate to bringing dead prey into the house and your creativity and innovation has been noted in this area.
Further, when the organization is paying bills, you will often sit on them during the task. We appreciate your attempt to help us keep down expenses in this manner. If you would like to further develop your skills in this area, we can provide training. You might also need to grow some opposable thumbs in order to work the computer to conduct online banking.
Interpersonal communication skills.
Raafje, you are just not a team player. Your obsessive need to be the favorite cat in the house isolates you from the others. This can cause some tension in the organization. There is no need to be jealous when Regen is on the couch with us for 5 minutes when you get all the other minutes in the day. Also, you've started this year sleeping on our pillows. This is just gross. The organization does not like having to take the lint brush to our own bed pillows before going to bed. So let's try to remove this behavior in the coming year. You are very welcome to join us in bed but please limit your sleeping territory to the foot of the bed.
Raafje, this summer when you showed up at the door with a dead shrew in your mouth: we know you didn't kill that shrew. Natalia brought it into the yard not an hour before and dropped it in the grass. You will not curry favor for taking credit for other people's work and don't think you can get away with it.
Efficiency in time management:
We know how much you love the garden and that you struggle to maintain balance between your love of the garden and your need to make sure you are the favorite cat in the house. You clearly indicate that you want to come into the house with frantic meowing and desperate scratching at the door. But when we open the door, you cannot seem to bring yourself to walk through it and you choose to stay outside. This causes a lot of wasted time in the organization, as well as heat loss in the winter time.
The organization will be looking to see improvements in your decision-making ability regarding whether or not you want to come in or stay outside.
KPI: Please try to reduce the number of times per day that you want to be let in or let out from 1,495 to 10.
Hi Regen. Please come in. Regen...there is no need to be nervous. You have lived with us for 6 years. We are your mom and dad and we feed you and love you. Would you feel more comfortable if we talked at the wall so you don't have to make eye contact? No problem.
Ok, so Regen, as you know, your development in the company tends to be 2 steps forward, 1 step back and that still seems to be the case. However this year, we've seen the steps that you do make to be bigger than before. Not only have you established the green chair in the living room as your territory, but you have also claimed the green ottoman that goes with it, which is a whopping 2 inches away from the chair. Great progress! It took you 5 years to figure this out. Now let's see if we can build on that progress and see if you can claim something else as your own in say, the coming 3 years.
It's been wonderful to see this year that you are allowing more people to pet you other than the organization leaders. You let grandma pet you this year without running away and hiding under the stove or in the clothes dryer for the next six hours. However, you still require quite an elaborate process before petting: the walking backwards to avoid eye contact, the slow approach from the base of the tail upwards and finally to the back of the ears.
Let's continue to work on our trust issues and see if we can cut a few steps out of this process, which clearly could use an overhaul to become more efficient. It will only benefit you in the long run in that you'll get to the desired behind-the-ears-scratching result faster, and more often.
Also, let's remember that the plastic boxes with the cat litter are the *only* acceptable areas to relieve ones self, unless you are outside.
KPI: 50% reduction in coughing up furballs with a six month check in review. The organization does not want to set you up for failure and will reforecast the target if necessary.