I am repurposing this from an email I sent to a friend.
I am feeling like an enormous slug today. Yesterday, my friends Sean and Bruno came over and they said "come on, we are going out." It was a beautiful sunny day so we got on our bikes and went to this place called the Blauwe Thee Huis in the park for a glass of wine. Then we went to the Leidseplein which is a very toursisty area and they parked in front of the Holland casino. I thought they were taking me to the casino but it was even worse, I found myself following them through the doors of the Hard Rock Cafe. It was dreadful inside of course. Nothing but dismal british and american tourists all staring at TV screens watching Eminem, not talking to each other while putting their revolting table manners on display. Plastic blue and white gingham table cloths, red, worn carpeting.
Ha ha, guys. Ok, funny. I can deal with the irony. Just get me a bloody mary which I am sure will be prepared from a watered down mix (it was).
Bruno and Sean were oh so pleased with themselves. They knew something I didn't. It was a set up. I will be returning to the Hard Rock to have this hamburger again. I will sit next to a Matchbox 20 guitar with a cracked fretboard (they are so hardcore). An american-style hostess will bark orders at me to wait in line before she seats me. I will again smirk at the fact that there is a waiting line for the smoking section but the non-smoking section will have plenty of seats available. I will grimmace at my surroundings but I will be in love with that Angus sirloin hamburger.